Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
