Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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