Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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