There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
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