So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
