I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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