i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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