I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
