Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
