wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
