It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
