you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
