Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
