Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Hippo gnu deer
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
