whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
