did you get engaged???
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
