Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
