Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
