I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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