Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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