Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize