If i come over, it means nothing
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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