If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
