Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Randomize
