I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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