What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I just found puke in my bra..
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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