apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
