I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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