Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize