why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
