Where did you get a picture of my penis
What did we do last night that was yellow?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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