I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize