i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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