Are we in a gay sports bar?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
