we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Randomize
