Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
