I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
