I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
