She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
