I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
