i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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