I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
