theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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