the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
