I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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