I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize