Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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