So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
We need to feng shui this bitch.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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