I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
