Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
