either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Randomize
