people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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