He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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