Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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