what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
