I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
