hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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