dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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