And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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