If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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