lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
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