I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
