everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
