I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize